What Jesse Eisenberg and My Colleague Have in Common
If you’ve been a reader for a bit, you know I have a genetic kidney condition called Polycystic Kidney Disease (PKD). You also know that I wrote about the condition and about the imbalance between people who need kidneys and people who donate them. You also might recall that living kidney donors radically enhance the lives of recipients as those kidneys last two times longer than cadaver donations. If you don’t know any of this, please pause and read this post now. Then you’ll know everything.
I published that post just over a year ago, and last week my dear friend and colleague Liz Nelson walked into Cedars-Sinai Hospital and donated a very stunning (we know, she asked the surgeon to take a photo) left kidney to a recipient she didn’t know. Liz utilized the “voucher” system created by the National Kidney Registry, and I am one of the very fortunate recipients of her voucher. That means when I do need a kidney transplant, likely in the next year, I will be positioned to get an expedited living donor kidney. Remarkably, Liz’s kidney went to a recipient who was a voucher holder, so someone donated on behalf of that person too. NKR calls this voucher program “paired exchange separated in time.” It makes donating simpler and creates market liquidity for donors and recipients by brilliantly reducing friction.
I haven’t really been able to put words or even emotional labels on this experience. That’s good payback for thousands of past coaching clients who have hated my tenacious asks that they attempt to do just this. But the best I can do is to say that being near someone who would do something this generous (for me, for the one or more recipients that benefited, for the world) was as close as I’ve ever been to a real-life miracle. It was a lot to witness. Overwhelming. In all the best ways.
Liz is doing great, taking long walks, off the opiods, and we had a remarkable chance to spend a few days together after she left the hospital. I haven’t communicated with anyone as much as Liz in the last five years, but this time was different. No to-do lists, no gut checks, no feedback clearing, no real logistics. Mostly it was just being. Together. As people. There was also some tomfoolery with her husband and six-year-old kid (if you haven’t seen six-year-old boys in a karate class, find a way).
Liz is just incredibly gracious. She has been amazing through all of this. She managed extensive health testing, two schedule changes, sleeping post-op in a zero gravity chair she nabbed on Facebook Marketplace for this occasion, and asking aforementioned son to hold off on big hugs for one more week. If you see the film Confessions of a Good Samaritan (now on Netflix, almost surely due to the efforts of a good samaritan on the distribution team), you will hear that most people who say “yes” to kidney donation have her spirit. She and they are altruistic. The decision seems weirdly obvious to them. Liz told me she was motivated by the desire to do something clearly “good” during some dark times. Her motivations were very similar to those shared by this writer in his New York Times piece.
People. They sure are something.
I am telling you all this because I have learned that the more you talk about kidney donation and the 100,000 people who need one right now, the more people voluntarily donate kidneys. So I’m going to just keep talking about it.
Actor Jesse Eisenberg recently gave a kidney altruistically as well, and this is the thing he and Liz have in common. When I titled this blog as clickbait, I thought I’d find more, but there’s nothing. Really. I do think they both like cats. Whatevs. They’re both awesome. And the reason I suspect you KNOW that Jesse donated a kidney is that everyone associated with his decision asked him to TALK about it. In a country of 350 million people, which is about 700 million kidneys, we should be able to solve an issue that affects so few in relative terms. So organizations like Kidney Donor Athletes or the One Kidney Club are out there doing cool things to raise awareness.
Most donors talk about their choice because they seem, like Liz and Jesse, to think that doing this thing was not that big a deal and they want others to jump aboard. According to Liz and the comments on her donation post on social media, people think kidney donors are unicorns – wildly generous, self-sacrificing, one-of-a-kind.
Here are a few:
- “Your love and generosity are amazing Liz!“
- “What a wonderful and inspirational gift to give to someone. Proud of you.”
- “Wow! What a beautiful donation from your loving heart You are an inspiration! ”
- “You’re an amazing soul.”
I do think Liz is pretty special, but Liz disagrees with the idea that donating one kidney when you only need one to live is all that extraordinary. She told me today she wished that everyone who is posting such praise on Facebook would realize that THEY TOO could make this decision right now. It’s not a small thing, but if you’re inspired, why not consider it?
To that end, if you are inspired by Jesse, Liz, or your cat. If you want to learn more about living kidney donation. If you want to have your own personal coordinator to help you through the process. If you want the best damned health evaluation you’ve ever received (for free) in service of being APPROVED to donate, go to www.NKR.org and get started. If not, next time you hear a super healthy person under 70 say they wish there was something they could do to offset the dire news cycle right now, plant the seed.
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