Great Questions + Listening = Magic
I put something on LinkedIn last month, and I wasn’t sure it would go anywhere.
“I want to host a small dinner gathering. Come to my house in Boulder. Bring one good question, a willingness to answer everyone else’s question, and an intent to listen carefully. You can be a friend or a stranger, from high school student to assisted living…”
Many people said yes. I was able to curate a group of mostly strangers.
I did this because I wanted to. I’ve been hungry for more community, more deep conversations, more new people in this home I designed for…more people.
What happened was beautiful. Plenty of tears. Lots of laughs. “Rules” I created on the fly that we ultimately abandoned.
Eight questions for eight people. Most people answered most questions. Simple. Lightweight. Respectful. A wonderful two hours of food, curiosity, and presence. Then I kicked everyone out asked them to leave.
The questions were so wonderful, I wanted to share them with you (with some paraphrasing):
“I think we are in a metacrisis, and we are bound for a second Renaissance. Where are you in this process? What’s your role?” — Matthew de Caussin
“What’s the most expensive lesson you’ve learned in the last year, and what did it cost you?” — Jacqueline Claudia
“If you were to explain how you think or solve problems to someone else, how would you do it?” — Ariel Pekelis
“What’s one thing in your life right now that feels abundant, and one thing that feels scarce? What would it take to have both?” — Lindsey Thrift
“What is a piece of artwork that had a powerful impact on you?” — Grace Adele Boyle
“I am deeply interested in meaning — literally what does it mean, to mean something? And most especially what is the meaning of meaning itself from a heart-centered perspective?” — Jack Spivak
“Do you have acceptance of yourself or okayness with who you are as a person? Is it a constant or does it ebb and flow? If it ebbs and flows, how do you navigate that?” — Lisa Knauer
“What’s one belief you hold that is no longer serving you?” — Cameron Henneke
“What is one false signal you end up paying attention to in the course of falling in love?” — Me
The next morning, I heard from the crew.
Messages started arriving in the thread. People still feeling the vibrations of our time together. Someone shared they needed to set aside headstrong habits to practice curiosity and trust in what others know. Another wrote about sitting with the energy and inflections everyone shared, still feeling the ripples. There was something in those notes that told me the questions were just the container — what filled it was harder to name.
One person put it plainly: he wasn’t sure how much the questions and answers actually mattered. What mattered, he thought, was the practice of listening. Of opening to what others think and feel. Of getting out of your own certainty long enough to let something else in.
Let me know if you or someone you know whom I don’t know would like to join the next one!
Any thoughts, feelings, or blurts? Share them here.